Sleep Shirts by Janice

While I was on my last trip to North Idaho for the family reunion I found myself in a creative dilemma: I had not brought one single thing to do creatively. No paint, no paper, not even a Crayola. So, in desperation, I decided it was a good time to try out the sleep shirt idea I had been playing around with.

I went into the Shopko across from my hotel and found the neatest new thing. I had been thinking of the tie dye stuff we used to do, but all one color and so random wasn’t what I wanted to do, but right there on the shelf was a whole box of ready to use genius. I was tickled. All I would have to do is draw on the design and it’s a done deal. Perfect for hotel down time.

So I got the box of felt type pens, dug out a t-shirt I had, and went to work. The first one I did I showed off at the reunion in the auction, sold a “to be done later” version, then wound up selling my own shirt as well. That made me have to do another one for me, and naturally I had to buy more pens to do these.

Now the thing I guess I need to let you know if you decide to do any of these is to watch out when you buy the pens. Some are heat set, which means you have to either iron them or put them in a hot dryer, and some are simply a permanent marker. I am not sure how they are different from a Sharpie, but I guess the lines are easier to change from broad to narrow depending on the design you are trying to do.

You will probably want to get all of one type, not like I did: which was buy them, get home and read the box later. Anyway, I had fun with them and thought I would show them to all of you.

Renovation Begins

Renovation has begun! After I talked to the realtor I made my plan of attack and have begun the work. Some of it will be expensive from my point of view, but a lot of it will be just plain hard work. 

For my first project I pulled out the cabinet in the library on my own. It took nearly a day as it was built in place and in a method my Jake would have been proud of. In other words: hell for stout. It was nailed to the wall and the floor and as I was trying to do as little damage to the floor and walls as possible I was being extremely careful. I got more bruises than the structure of my house did. I got it out, though, and now that it’s done I have a pile of usable furniture grade plywood, with a lot of nails in it, 3 very heavy duty drawers for some other use, and a fire safe that closes but has no key to lock it. That is ok, I guess, because I don’t think a fire would care if it is locked or not. I have moved the bookcase to the dining room in order to be able to work on the library. 

In the course of tearing out the cabinet I have to report both good news and bad news. The good news is that there is a solid wood floor underneath and it looks like good tight pine boards. The bad news is it is under two layers of vinyl flooring, instead of just one, with the attendant adhesive which will have to be removed. It will almost surely be a real mess to clean it up. I plan to check what is under the carpet in the living room before I make that final decision. If there is glue under the carpet I may have to go with a plan B which I haven’t concocted yet. The realtor assures me, and I know it’s true, that people really like wood floors. I personally like carpet, but this house is not for me.

For now I have the room empty enough to wash down the walls, paint the ceiling and use it as a staging area while I get rid of a few pieces of excess furniture. At least now I know where all my demolition tools are at.

I should note that the name “Library” is my own for the tiny room that is actually a converted carport. My daughter calls it “the mud room”. I figure with a fireplace, internet cable, a bookcase and a couple of comfortable chairs it makes a good library. 

 Desk/Cabinet as it started out.

  Pile of goods after it was disassembled.

The floor underneath the cabinet gives me hope.

Starting Over - Again!

Alright; I admit it has been a minute or two since I started this blog and I haven’t been back.

But I have an excuse. Yes, that’s all it is: an excuse. You see, I just got so busy starting over that I forgot all about the blog. Then a good friend suggested I better get back to it. So here I am again.

There are so many parts of “starting over” that once you commit to it the whole thing simply seems to take over.

First there are the other people you must consider. In my case I needed to make sure the house I was left was to be cared for and done with as my husband would have wanted.

I believe I have done that, although it required me to go to another state to work in a field I knew nothing about. More on that later.

Having made enough money to put the house in good condition I made the next move: to get it into good hands. Five acres was too much for me, so I’ve put it into our sons’ hands. It was to go to him on my death anyway; we are just cheating a little bit so he can have it now. No need for him to wait another 50 years and inherit a rundown hovel. He and his wife are doing an awesome job of taking good care of it and we are all happy with the arrangement.

Of course, all that passing on part caused me to need a new place to live. My mother passed away and I was in Arkansas for that and after many conversations with family and friends I decided I should move “home”.

So I did! Once in Arkansas I found a house with only 2 acres, nicely located and with all my requirements. I bought it and moved all my stuff to Arkansas.

And let me tell you, I have a lot of stuff!

Now here I am, in Arkansas and I have made the decision to start over again. I am now going to go “home” again, this time to Idaho. I found out that after 30 years of doing, loving, and being in a place does make it home.

So for me to move back to Idaho I will need to sell my Arkansas house, pack or sell all my stuff again, and buy another house in Idaho.

No, it wasn’t a wasted 2 or 3 years: I learned so much and the awesome deal on my property would not have been possible in Idaho. Through pure luck I am doing it the only way I can see that it would have worked.

But this time I intend to take you with me, if you want to come along. I will be redoing my fifty-plus year old house for resale, trying out some moneymaking ideas online, and doing some arts, and some crafts and taking a few little mini trips around this area before I leave. I plan to share these ideas and experiences with you through my blog.

So for now all I can do is promise not to forget you again and to ask you to follow me as I start over once again. So let’s get busy!

Why We Start Over

Well, I’m glad I put the morning alarm on already, as I am sitting here in a little pool of light, pen and paper at hand. Yes, pen and paper. A computer would not be personal enough for the thoughts whirling in my mind at this moment. A pen and paper feel more as if my thoughts are actually streaming onto the crisp white paper, relieving my pent up mental breath.

I have, for a long while, been thinking of writing about starting over: thinking that perhaps others would gain some kind of ease, perhaps be inspired in some way by watching as another person begins life again. Tonight as I tried to sleep, the thoughts just wouldn’t stop, so I decided to get up and actually try to get some of it down on paper.

There are so many people starting over. Every day I talk to different ones who start over for a myriad of reasons: there are those like me, who have lost a loved one through death. There are those who have lost loved ones through divorce and it feels to them as if it is the same thing. There are some who must start over for financial reasons: their jobs are gone, their homes may be gone, they may have been forced into a move and have a new location to make their world in.

I have done all those things at one time or another and am beginning a new life once again. I don’t know how it comes about but each new start is different from the one before. You have a new point of reference each time and, of course, experience from the points before, each time feels just as desperately hopeless as the one before and each time is totally different. I know from experience that none of these are easy. I know that the actual point of starting over again is hard to pin down in some cases. Sometimes we know for a good while that something is going to happen: the catastrophic event that leads us to starting over usually has some hints leading up to the fatal point. It may be company problems at work, financial problems at home, domestic trouble, or a terminal illness. It may not even be a bad reason that causes us to start over. Sometimes it is just a desire to explore, to move to a new location, a new job. A restless spirit may be the cause.

Whatever the cause, you find yourself faced with starting over. At first you may, as I did this last time, just go through the motions of being alive. Friends come and go, you smile, assure everyone you are OK, you do the laundry, feed the dog, mow the grass, shop for food --- but the joy is gone. You save the crying for nights, you avoid talking about it because your throat closes. Then, one day, the knots in your stomach begin to untie. You begin to look around, wondering “what now?”  and you realize you can’t just go on in a fog forever, but where does new inspiration come from?

The exact starting point doesn’t begin with the catastrophe that caused a new beginning to be necessary. Starting over begins when you peer through the curtains of fog and genuinely smile at the friends who are still there, and begin to put out feelers to discover what might be around that corner after all. It begins when the winter you can’t remember ends, and when you look around you realizes it’s spring: when did it stop snowing in your heart?

So here I am. My mate of 20 years has gone. He told me to be happy, but I was sure for the first year that I never would be again. Maybe I won’t ever feel that particular joy again. Maybe I’ll settle for contentment, satisfaction. But spring is here. I’m doing some new things, I’m doing some old things over again, and I’m looking forward to growing into this new life I’m jumping into.

I’ll look back sometimes and maybe choke a bit now and then, and I’ll share that, too. But I’ll be looking to the future, thinking of the next steps onward.

I invite you to jump in with me. This “blog” is just one of the new things I’ll be into. In it, I’ll share memories, thoughts, ideas and news with you. I’ll look forward to hearing from anyone who cares to comment on my post and I look forward to making new friends and strengthening old ones. Join me as we step into tomorrow.